Good News

Dave Killion — April 13, 2012

Feeding polar bears is expensive!

Polar bears have declined to cooperate with predictions regarding the imminent collapse of their populations –

“The debate about climate change and its impact on polar bears has intensified with the release of a survey that shows the bear population in a key part of northern Canada is far larger than many scientists thought, and might be growing…

…The study shows that “the bear population is not in crisis as people believed,” said Drikus Gissing, Nunavut’s director of wildlife management. “There is no doom and gloom.”

The subpopulation under discussion is over 60% more numerous than had been forecast. Environmental activists and researchers have reacted to the positive news with great delight.

Just kidding. Despite the good news, activists claim things are even worse than we feared! –

“…some details in the survey pointed to a bear population in trouble. For example, the survey identified 50 cubs, which are usually less than 10 months old, and 22 yearlings, roughly 22 months old. That’s nearly one-third the number required for a healthy population, (University of Alberta  professor of biological science Andrew Derocher) said. “This is a clear indication that this population is not sustaining itself in any way, shape, or form.”

Having been exposed to every sort of eco-hysteria since beginning school in the 1960s, and seeing as none of it has materialized, I am confident that it is only a matter of time before these ravenous beasts are so numerous there will be people advocating some sort of polar bear birth control program. Remember you heard it here first.

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